When I first started this blog, I promised myself I wouldn’t post anything cheesy or my love-hate relationship with my romance life. However, I’m going to make an exception here because A) I haven’t blogged for a super long time and hence I have more rights to post anything I want, as long as I am posting B) I’m having some serious raging hormone shit going on right now.
So the story goes that I went for this camp in school, which started out pretty badly due to miscommunication and inefficient organising committee. I thought the camp was going to be super boring, and the fact that the absence of any fun or enthusiastic new recruits did not help as well (or so I thought).
Then the time came when we decided to join 2 groups to 1, which was when I met him. He looks exactly like my best friend’s ex boyfriend – the guy who was so sweet to my best friend, took everything he could and forgot her a year after the breakup. Of course, my super friendship-first personality decided to stay away from this person because I knew straight away that he’s no good for me.
And then I found out that we have so many things in common: nationality, traits, and our introverted personality. I started to be drawn to him. Before I knew it, I was consistently looking out for him in a crowd, trying to locate his deep yet soft voice in a noisy room and observing him from far away. I knew then that I had fell for this guy.
And then during one of my carefully-thought-after conversation with him, he popped the question: whether I am attached. I am pretty sure I gave an extremely awkward laugh, even more awkward than the fact that I fell for him within hours after meeting him. I told him the truth: that I have never been in a relationship before. Then I took a deep breath and asked him the same question, trying to sound more like an obligatory question to reciprocate his interest rather than my intense self desire to dig deep into his life. The words I hated to hear most came out, “Yes, I have just got together with my girlfriend 6 months ago”. Oh well, there we go.
Tried to sound interested in his relationship with his girlfriend. Knew I drama skill failed me terribly then. Tried to strike another topic of conversation. Tried to make the transition smooth. Transition wasn’t smooth at all – it sounded EXACTLY like what’s happening: that I was jealous.
I know what I need to do now. I need to back off. But how can I possibly do it, when the last memory I have of him will be the fact that he remembered a small detail of me before we part on the last day of camp.